


Love on the Golf Course

by CheezLord12



Category: RPF - Fandom, Shrek (Movies)
Genre: Help, M/M, What Have I Done, im so sorry world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28383378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheezLord12/pseuds/CheezLord12
Summary: When President Donald Trump accidentally trespasses on Shrek’s swamp while golfing, will he find something more with the green ogre?
Relationships: Shrek (Shrek)/Donald Trump
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	Love on the Golf Course

**Author's Note:**

> This is all your fault, you know who you are.

Donald Trump patted his head, checking his hair was still there—it had an annoying tendency to stick up in the most ridiculous ways. He felt Melania drive her elbow into his side and quickly dropped his hand, trying to pay attention to the... what was it again? Security briefing, something about nukes and North Korea. Normally, he would be all over the situation, spouting bullshit and giving orders nobody wanted to follow, but he was distracted.

The day before, he'd had quite the experience.

He'd been out golfing when a large figure started lumbering toward him, kicking aside those flaggy things. Donald drew in a sharp breath and blinked rapidly at the sheer majesty of the being in front of him.

"Get off me swamp!" He exclaimed.

Donald's knees buckled, and he had to grip his club tightly to avoid falling.

His skin was a mossy green, the color of the vomit Melania had spewed on their wedding night. His eyes were deep pools of brown sewage, as disgustingly brown as the shit Donald was so fond of spewing at anyone who would listen. His bushy eyebrows were perfectly shaped, sitting like caterpillars atop his brow. His teeth were white and crooked, like many of Donald's favorite senators.

Donald adjusted his shirt, discreetly unbuttoning the top button to reveal his manly chest. He donned his most dazzling smile, trying to act as if the mere existence of this man—no, this god, didn't cause butterflies to erupt in his stomach.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Donald asked, fluttering his lashes.

"I said, get off me swamp. It's me private property!" He extended his arm to a shabby wooden sign proclaiming the place private property. Donald watched as his muscles flexed, wiping away some drool.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Donald said breathlessly. "I can be such a ditz sometimes." He giggled, placing a hand on the other man's arm. "My name's Donald. What's yours?"

"Shrek." he said, blinking confusedly.

"Well, it's lovely to meet you, Shrek." Donald said, smiling widely.

Before Shrek could bless Donald with another word, his son, Eric, walked up the golf course, waving to him. "Dad, it's work time!"

Donald sighed and stamped his foot. "Do I have to?"

"C'mon, it's only twenty minutes and then you can come back. You are president, you know."

Donald looked longingly at Shrek, hating Eric with every fiber of his being (though that was his normal feeling toward Eric). Finally he sighed and turned to Eric. "Fine, but you have to buy me McDonalds."

Eric nodded. "Sure, Dad. Just come on in."

Donald turned to say goodbye to Shrek, but he was already gone, though he hadn't left Donald's thoughts since then, keeping him awake all night and distracting him from the security briefing.

"Thank you for coming, everyone. That's all for today." the man at the head of the table announced, pushing his chair back. "Do you have any questions? Mr. President?"

Donald tried not to let on that he hadn't been paying attention, so he went with a classic. "You're fired." He snarled at the man, standing up and leaving his outraged shout behind.

~

Donald had come to the golf course every day that week, hanging around Shrek's swamp in the hopes he would come and chase him off again, but to no avail. He'd almost given up for the day when he heard a loud footstep behind him.

Donald whirled around, trying to play it cool and smirking. "Oh, hey, Shrek." he said. "Wazzup?"

"You're on me swamp!" Shrek exclaimed. "Get off me swamp!"

Donald laughed, his chest filling with warmth. Truly, nothing had changed. "Oh, Shrek. Of course. I'm so silly." He raked his hand through his silky, corn like, hair, ignoring how half of it came out.

A moment of silence passed. "So, how have you been, Shrek?" Donald asked casually.

"I... alright. I've been alright." Shrek said.

"Good! Great, that's great." Donald said. He cursed himself. Stop acting so desperate! he thought.

"No one's ever asked me that before." Shrek said, sitting in the grass. Donald lowered himself next to Shrek, the grass withering where he sat. He lightly bumped his shoulder into Shrek's.

"Well, I'm asking now. You're supposed to ask me how I've been." he instructed.

"Oh, okey. How have you been?"

"Actually, I haven't been doing great this last week." Donald sighed. "I think I might be sick... lovesick." He looked up into Shrek's soup brown eyes, trying to convey his message.

"Lovesick?" Shrek asked. "For who?"

Donald felt his mouth go dry and he licked his lips. "For you, Shrek." he whispered, leaning forward to kiss Shrek. Shrek tasted like dead bugs and rotten fish, and Donald couldn't get enough of him. He kissed Shrek harder and Shrek raised a large hand to Donald's hair, making him shudder. Finally, they broke apart, both breathing heavily.

"Shrek, I love you." Donald admitted. "Will you have my babies?"

"Yes!" Shrek cried.


End file.
